Guestbook


Lila Braine 

Jackie –a remembrance

I first met Jackie in NY more than 60 years ago through a mutual acquaintance. She introduced us because she said that Jackie and I did the same kind of psychology, with the unspoken implication that we really did a rather peculiar kind of psychology. After this brief introduction, Jackie went back to Washington, and we only saw each other occasionally at academic meetings. We did not become friends until some years later when I moved to Washington and Jackie returned to Washington from Hong Kong. At that time, in the mid 1960s, we both had young children, and the academic establishment was not hospitable to women, especially those with young children.

Jackie and I were fortunate to have had federal research grants at that time, and we found a home in the Psychology department of George Washington University (which was happy to take the overhead from our grants). Jackie and I shared an office for several years (until I left Washington). In addition, for 1-2 years, we taught a graduate course together. That was good fun, and educational, for both the students and ourselves! I remember that period as one when we were mutually helpful, enjoyed our conversations about psychology, and were able to talk about our personal lives, especially our children. Somehow, we managed all that “togetherness” very well. We also made serious efforts to establish ourselves as genuine members of the psychology department (in contrast to being participating guests in the department). We suggested various ways in which we could share one academic appointment, but the administration was having none of that. (Today, I think the response would be very different.) In those years together in Washington, we developed a deep friendship and a supportive academic relationship that was important to each of us.

Although Jackie returned to Australia, we emailed and managed to see each other because Jackie came to the US to go to meetings and to give talks. On one of those occasions, Jackie and I were in the airport in NY, on our way to a meeting, when we missed our flight because we were so busy talking!

I would like to add another personal note. My late husband and I took a sabbatical in Australia in the mid-1990s, and he had a recurrence of cancer during that visit. I was very grateful for the support Jackie provided during that difficult period.

With much affection, Lila Braine

June 25, 2014 - 1:47 PM

Emily Goodnow Bjaalid 

The 3generations of women (grandma, mum and I) have lost the much loved member, my beloved grandma. She passed away in peace, surrounded by her team of family in the comfort of home. Beyond grateful to have had the last 5 years living with her company and 18 years of love, can’t imagine home without her cheerful and intelligent character. Will never forget her smart remarks, continuous determination and never ending ability to cheer us all up! Surrounded by wonderful memories of long summer holidays spent together both in Norway and Australia, 3generation road trips, bawley point days and importantly waking up everyday to her classical music and her loving humour! How much she will be missed is indescribable. Always in our hearts ❤️ Sleep well grandma Goodnow

June 24, 2014 - 4:29 PM

Christopher Goodnow 

As you all know, Mum lived life to the full. She was determined to recognize and seize the opportunities life presented, and pushed everyone within her orbit to do the same.

Mum’s tremendous spirit made it possible to “have it all”: a brilliant academic career and a wonderfully full family life.

Her spirit captivated and inspired Dad throughout his life, and is captured in a letter from 1949 that Dad wrote to his mother when Mum and Dad were first starting to go out while PhD students at Harvard:

“Jacq … has a wonderful spirit and lives about as fully and completely and intelligently as anyone I know”.

Among so many qualities, there is one specific aspect of Mum’s approach to life that I’d like to single out with a few anecdotes. In Mum’s case, encouraging us to seize life’s opportunities usually started with a LIST.

As primary school kids at loose ends on Saturday mornings in Washington DC, Mei-Mei and I would do what kids do at that age and go moaning to Mum “I’m bored, there’s nothing to do…”. This was not greeted with “you poor dear, here let’s have a cuddle”. Instead it elicited the much more clinical, constructive response of, “well let’s go look at the Bored List”.

The Bored List was 2 foolscap pages, mounted on the inside of the kitchen cupboard, handwritten by Mum with begrudging input from each of us, listing every conceivable activity from “polish the floors” or “wash the dog” to “ride bikes” and “go fishing”.

There was no room for wallowing in Mum’s world: you just made lists and solved your problem.

Ironically, when my own kids were a similar age, I suddenly found myself hanging a “Bored List” on the inside of the kitchen cupboard.

I have to admit that I didn’t always appreciate Mum’s lists as much as I should have. After I’d moved out of home for several years, in the fourth year of university I was sharing a flat at Fairlight with Sue Thwaites and Georgia Barnes, and Mum came over to say bon voyage on the eve of my first trip to an international conference.

This particular trip was a big deal, and turned out to have a big influence on my life. I had become obsessed with immunology research, and Mum and Dad had made it possible for me to attend The International Congress of Immunologists in Kyoto Japan by covering my airfare and conference registration.

I was in the middle of packing my suitcase when Mum came by, and she saw that I had NO LIST.

Indeed it appeared I was throwing stuff into the suitcase “randomly”.

So, channelling her loving maternal emotions into the most constructive path, Mum the experienced conference traveller stepped in with lots of good advice about what to take and how to fold it.

Naturally I freaked out and we had a little barney with me exclaiming “I know what I’m doing and I’ll do it my way!!!”

I don’t think I’ve ever told Mum, but whenever I’m packing a suitcase for a conference trip I think about that time and her advice, and I’m now much more systematic. But I also inherited Mum’s stubborn self-determination, and still don’t make a packing LIST!

Mum was unstoppable. Even at age 89 and in hospital after two heart attacks in as many days, Mum was still making lists for us to follow up after she passed away.

June 24, 2014 - 5:42 AM